an urgent question!

Posted on September 20, 2012 by laurenbjorkman

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

I can’t imagine life without my best friend! So we applied to all the same engineering programs at major universities!!

Now I’m scared because we just had a huge fight! I really, really want to go to Cal Tech!! It’s number four in engineering!!! She wants to go to Northwestern! But it’s only number fourteen! What should I do?

Natalie

Dear Natalie,

~~First of all, stop using so many exclamation points!!!!!!!!~~

Miss Fortune Cookie says: Always choose opportunity over friendship. Also, you should consider the weather. It snows at Northwestern. Would you really deny yourself sun and warmth for a friend?

Miss Fortune Cookie

tempted by revenge

Posted on September 19, 2012 by laurenbjorkman

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My best friend stole my boyfriend. Now she’s going to prom with him. Is it wrong to give her mono by drinking from her soda can at lunch?

Tempted

Dear Tempted,

Can you really give someone mono that way? I wish they taught us useful things like that in bio. Seriously though …

Confucius said: Before embarking on a path of revenge, first dig two graves.

Are you still friends with her? If so, tell her how you feel. If you are no longer friends, revenge won’t make anything better.

Miss Fortune Cookie