Friend is a mooch

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My friend likes to go out for lunch all the time. I don’t have much money, so I order cheaply. My friend always eats way more than I do, and then she wants to split the bill. When I try to pay for my share, she says, “I hate people who make a fuss over a few dollars.” What should I do?

Mad

Dear Mad,

Miss Fortune Cookie says: The richer your friends, the more they will cost you.

Then again, John Lennon said money can’t buy you love.

Maybe they mean the same thing.

Here’s a little practical advice. Whenever you go out with your friend, tell her you’re not hungry. Don’t order anything, and see what happens.

Miss Fortune Cookie

Dad asks too many questions

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My dad is driving me crazy. Whenever I bring a boy over, he asks a ton of embarrassing questions. Can you do your own laundry? When was the last time you changed the oil in your car? What’s your gpa? How fast can you run a mile? And if he doesn’t like the answers, he says we can’t go out. What should I do to keep myself from strangling him?

Sneaking Around

Dear Sneaking Around,

Miss Fortune Cookie says: A girl with one chopstick will go hungry.

Think of you and your dad as a team. He’s looking out for you, making sure you don’t end up with a loser—a slob that will expect you to do his laundry.

Start a conversation with your dad about what to look for in a partner. And—if you don’t care about how fast your boyfriend can run—share your feelings on the matter.

Good luck!
Miss Fortune Cookie